


I request the radio to be removed because I won't be forced to face the music

by Tomomi



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: A Coming Out Story, Anxiety, Closeted, Closeted Character, Gen, M/M, Paranoia, Tension, also very platonic, closeted sonic, this was supposed to come out in pride month well guess what everyday is pride month, very very light sonadow if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 21:10:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19876147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomomi/pseuds/Tomomi
Summary: This was the talk Sonic had come to dread, but he knew it was coming. He just hoped he could get the words out before he’d keel over. Why was it so hard to come out anyway?





	I request the radio to be removed because I won't be forced to face the music

There was light chatter bouncing around the nicely set dinner table. Sonic sat against the window connected to the dining room, having full view of his three friends accompanying him this evening. Amy sat directly ahead of him, eyes locked with no form of hiding. Knuckles was on her left, focused more on his plate of pasta that Sonic spent way too long attempting to make. Tails was on Amy’s right, eyeing Sonic and the food suspiciously. Everything was set in place.

Knuckles was leading the conversation, it seemed. Amy and Tails listened and followed along politely, all while making subtle glances in Sonic’s direction, as if waiting for him to chime in with little quick quips. He remained silent though- for once. He was staring past Amy’s ears and at the ticking clock behind her. He watched the time pass as his chest started to build up with heat and his throat tickled.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“-so, I’m not sure what that Egghead is planning, but the next time I see him I’ll be sure to knock his lights out-”

“Um, right, so guys, I-” Sonic started against Knuckles’ voice. Everyone’s attention quickly flicked to him. Usually, he would have been all for being in the spotlight, but he felt his throat run dry and he took a drink of his water. He twisted his fork anxiously, gathering little strings of pasta in a small ball. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

When he looked up from his plate, he realized that he never finished his sentence. 

“So, guys,” He started again, adding a small chuckle at the end. “I hope the food’s alright. I know it’s not much.”

Knuckles stayed quiet for a few seconds. “Food’s actually not bad, surprisingly. I was a little worried when I saw no chilidogs, but this actually _isn’t_ horrible!”

“Yeah, I think it’s great, actually!” Amy grinned as she ate more, although Sonic was sure that it had gone cold by now with how long she had left it untouched.

“Yeah.” Tails narrowed his eyes at him.

“That’s great! Perfect even! Glad everyone’s doing well!” Sonic took another gulp of his drink and scarfed down some food.

“Kinda weird, though.” Tails started, catching him mid bite. “I mean, a little fancy dinner over at your house with little to no prompt or reason?” Sonic took another drink.

Amy glanced over at him. “Pasta isn’t that fancy.”

“For Sonic it is.”

Knuckles shrugged and took a sip of his juice. It looked like grape-cranberry. “It’s weird and all, but I’m more surprised he was actually able to pull it off. Who knew he had the patience to boil water?”

“He really doesn’t, which means that something is up here.”

“Tails, will you lighten up? He made this whole meal for us and you’re treating it like some sort of court case!”

“I’m not trying to be a downer, it’s just this feels a little… what the word for it?”

“Set up?”

“Yeah, set up! The Sonic I know wouldn’t do something like this without having _something_ on his mind.”

“Well, since you’re so worried, why don’t you ask him?”

Sonic finished off his glass and went to fill it up from the fridge. As he watched the water fill the glass, he felt like something similar was rising within himself. Like something was going to tip over any moment now. He got so distracted he didn’t notice that he overfilled his glass and spilled some water on the floor. All he could do was try to maintain his smile as he came back to sit down.

“I’m just trying to be nice guys. It’s just this time, I wanted to do something a little more special.” A few splashes of water got on his glove when he set his glass down, soaking it more than it previously was.

Tails watched him for a moment before giving a small smile and returning to his plate.

Knuckles still stared, however. “But what’s so special about us?”

“Well you guys are my closest friends, of course!” Sonic laughed and gulped down half his glass. 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“On that note, ahem, there is something I want to talk about.” He added after he felt the clock rushing him to get to the point.

“See, I told you.” Tails laughed.

“Haha, yeah. So, you know,” Sonic clasped his hands together and stared down, looking at every inch of the table that was away from his friends. “We’re all… really close, right? I mean, Tails, Knuckles, you guys are like brothers to me. You always have my back and I’ve known you two for so long…” He stopped and took another bite of his slightly cold food. “And Amy,”

Amy tracked her eyes over him with a beaming smile. Sonic felt his foot tap faster. 

“A good companion. With a kind heart.” Was all he could say, and he felt the air tighten around him.

“Of course, Sonic. But why are you bringing it up now?” Tails spoke before Amy could comment on his statement. Sonic’s smile only grew painfully large and he found himself shaking his head.

“It’s not a big deal, really!” But it was. And it was showing all over his face. Amy could see it, Tails could see it, Knuckles could see it; hell, Sonic could _feel_ it. He figured he was just running in circles at this point. 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“I actually have an annou-” ‘- _an announcement to make.’_

“Now you’re just acting weird.” Amy cut in, setting her fork down with a horrifying clink. Knuckles snapped his head to her. 

“Can you let him finish?” 

“If he ever gets it out.” Tails chimed in, pushing aside his plate that had become unenjoyable. This earned a hot glare from the echidna, but he kept his irritation focuses on Amy.

“I just want to know what bothering him!” Amy scoffed as she crossed her arms. “I know my Sonic and I can tell when something’s up. Call it-”

“-A girl’s intuition. We know.” Both Tails and Knuckles finished for her, rolling their eyes. She narrowed her eyes at them and felt her temper rise.

“Don’t make that face with me, you’re the one being rude!” Knuckles stood up from his seat.

“Now, now, guys-” Sonic tried to speak, but the screech on Amy’s chair stopped him.

“ _Me?!_ I’ve been indulging in this meal, complimenting his work, and trying to engage him this whole time! You two have been the ones rudely ignoring him! He’s been sweating up a storm all night!”

Knuckles opened his mouth but Tails came in first, “Whatever’s got him so bothered has nothing to do with you Amy, so why don’t you just back off?”

Amy’s face sparked with nothing but confusion, but it quickly lighted into anger. “How do you know it’s not about me?! And who cares if it is?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know you think this dinner is somehow going to turn into something about you and Sonic. That’s how you always think, isn’t it?” Tails folded his arms over his chest as he spoke, watching both Knuckles and Amy’s off-put expressions. “I doubt Sonic would call us all over to make some grand confession or whatever about you, so you should just wipe that from your mind, Amy.”

“W-what-” Amy sputtered.

“-are you-” Knuckles choked out.

“-talking about?!” They both finished together. Knuckles placed his hands on his hips.

“I don’t think that was even crossing her mind Tails, what is wrong with you?!” Knuckles shook his head and shot her a glance. “And if that’s true-”

“It’s _not!_ I literally just wanted to support my Sonic!” Amy stomped her foot as she felt her blood boil. Sonic was the only one still sat at the table, mouth parted in awe as he continued to gawk at his bickering friends. What had happened? Everything was _fine_ a few minutes ago! Where did this hostility come from?

Sonic didn’t know how to respond- or where to start. His friends hadn’t even heard his announcement, and _already_ tensions were high. As he watched the three of them become louder and less civil, he felt the heroic side of him climb back up within his shaken mindset. The part of him that felt it his duty to keep things level and in order around him rose to surface as he stood up from his seat.

“That’s enough, guys!” He spoke loud and firm, watching as three pairs of eyes snapped to his direction. Then, silence. Absolute silence as they stared at him for direction. He thought for a moment, where to start? Should he reprimand Amy first for cutting him off and starting this mess? Or chastise Tails for jumping to conclusions? Maybe he should just settle on Knuckles since he’s got the quickest tempe-

“So what’s the announcement?” Knuckles broke his train of thought, bringing him back to reality quicker than he could blink. 

Tails took a step forward, keeping his composure but still obviously annoyed. “Yeah. We should probably know what we’re fighting about anyway.” 

Sonic felt his throat dry again and his heart kick into gear. He felt his bravery fade away and he was sunken into his seat yet again. The other three sat down in unison.

“Right. You’ve got the floor, Sonic. I’m all ears.” Amy said as she tried to manage a smile on her rosy face. And she was right. Sonic did have the floor. And he wanted to give it back as quickly as he got it. He felt his gaze drop to the wooden table below his hands. 

“I just wanted to say…” He really should just say it. His plans were to make this lovely dinner for his friends so that they’d be comfortable to hear his announcement, so maybe, _maybe,_ they could take his identity in stride. 

_‘I mean, I have no doubt that they’d still be my friends. We’ve been through so much, after all. I just wanted this night to be perfect, but everything’s just gone wrong.’_

Sonic sighed softly. 

‘ _All this trouble just ‘cause I like guys.’_

_“_ I… just wanted to say that I’ll be going on vacation soon.” He lied, feeling more defeated than relieved. He didn’t look up from the table, but he heard a grunt from Knuckles and the small screech of a chair scraping the ground.

“ _That’s_ it? Geez man, if that was it, I probably wouldn’t have come to this stupid dinner.” Knuckles stood up and was already halfway out the room before Tails could process what happened.

“You’re leaving? It’s not Sonic’s fault we got into a fight!” Tails left the table and confronted Knuckles at the door. Their faint bickering was heard by the last two at the table, both who kept their eyes low. Sonic didn’t want to look up. He felt weak. Like a coward. He couldn’t say something as easy as “hey guys, I’m gay”? How can someone face an evil mastermind every other day, but not do that? 

He felt a hand fall on his shoulder and he looked to his side. Amy stood there and patted him.

“I… I’m not sure what you were _actually_ going to say, but I understand if you don’t want to say it.” She reassured him. She then gave him a smile, a lovely smile. A friendly smile. And it hurt to see it. Because he knew that if he had come out to her, she probably would be the last one to smile.

“Thanks, Amy.” Sonic could only reply. They both turned their attention to the growing volume of the argument at the door. They watched as Tails and Knuckles barked back and forth with each other. Sonic was going to stop it once more, but Knuckles stormed out before he had the chance. Tails himself stood at the doorway, watching his retreating figure disappear with nothing less than anger painted on his muzzle. He clenched his fists and left for the guest room without a word. Amy and Sonic could hear a light slam of a door nearby. 

“That… could have ended better.”

“ _Yeah.”_ Sonic rubbed his temple and sighed.

Amy frowned and walked ahead to the door with Sonic behind her. “I’m sorry about what happened tonight. I didn’t mean to cause a fight. Really.” She dropped her head and fiddled her thumbs together, growing panic showing in her eyes. “This really was my fault, wasn’t it?”

Sonic dropped both his hands on her shoulder and gave her a small shake. “Nah! Not at all, Ames! You know how Knuckles can be, and Tails is growing up, you know! He’s growing out of that yes-man phase.” He smiled at her, which in turn made return the gesture. It gave him a bittersweet feeling.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine! I just know it!” Amy pumped her fists and spun on her heel. “Well, I’d better head back to Cream and Cheese! Hope your night gets better Sonic!” Sonic watched her march off with newfound enthusiasm. He shook his head and chuckled as he wondered how she could flip her moods that quickly, shutting the door slowly. Before he could, he saw Amy stop in her tracks.

“And Sonic? You can talk to me about anything, okay?”

_‘No, I can’t.’_

“I know that, Amy.” Sonic smiled weakly before closing the door. As he held the door shut, he felt the weight of the world crash on him and he made his way over to the couch. He dropped himself on it, feeling each limb sink like lead into the comfy surface. He was ready to put this night to rest.

Why did he have to come out anyway? No one else had to do that. When Knuckles started dating Rouge, he didn’t have to barge in and say, “Hey everyone! Turns out I’m 100% straight and in love with a bat! Let’s celebrate!” None of that happened. So why did he have to say he was gay? Whose business was that?

No matter. He’d have to do it anyway, he knew that for sure. He just knew… he probably wasn’t ready right now. But when would he be?

And he slept soundly that night, falling asleep to the gentle croon of his hanging clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

* * *

A few days passed and Sonic _thought_ that this petty squabble between Knuckles and Tails would have subsided by now. Wrong assumption on his part, seeing as he ended up caught in the middle of _some_ fight they were having as the three of them were trying to start up the Tornado. 

“Just calm down already.” And Sonic knew his voice wasn’t going to reach Knuckles anytime this day, or this week for that matter. Nothing did when he was this mad. Something had been bugging the echidna, and it wasn’t just the little dinner fiasco. Sonic had spent the past one, two… maybe three days caught in the middle of others’ stupidity. 

“ _I_ need to calm down?” Knuckles’ voice echoed off the large walls of Tails’ lab as he swiped his head in Sonic’s direction. “I deserve to be upset! Have you been listening to what he’s been saying?”

“I’m right here, Knuckles. I’m sure he heard everything so far, right Sonic?” Tails butted in, standing on the opposite side of Knuckles, sandwiching Sonic in between the two of them. This had been going on for the last hour or so, but the animosity between the two of them had been present for days now. How exactly does someone as old as Knuckles get into such a big fight with a kid?

“Sonic?” 

And really, _who_ was listening to this argument? Neither parties were listening to _each other,_ so why should he have to listen to both? He had lost track of the day’s argument when Tails started spewing out the most _boring, indecipherable-_

“Well, fine! I don’t need either of you to know I’m right! I’m taking my things and leaving!” Tails’ voice broke Sonic out of his daze. He felt guilt rise slightly in his chest out of impulse, seeing his brother so riled up, so unlike his usual self. He would’ve chased after him, but… Tails was reaching _that age._ And he knew very well that fighting with someone in _that age_ was more trouble than it was worth.

“Thanks a lot. You _really_ settled things like you said you would.” Knuckles bumped passed his shoulder as he stretched the sarcasm over his words. Sonic only rolled his eyes before following along a few paces behind. He watched the tenseness roll off his friend like water. His shoulders were hunched and his steps were heavy against the pavement. He didn’t know why his friend was so upset. This little spat seemed to have grown into something bigger. 

“Alright Knuckie. Walk with me. Talk with me. What’s up?” He caught up to Knuckles’ side before he was stopped by the echidna himself blocking his path.

“Do _not_ call me that. Ever!” He snapped before marching on ahead. Sonic sped up around him and stopped his walk.

“Ooh! Toasty!” Sonic smiled. “Someone’s a little on the grouchy side! A little scorned, can I say?” Knuckles tried to walk around, but each time Sonic would block him at lightning speed.

“Give it up, Sonic.” Knuckles huffed, crossing his arms. Sonic flicked his nose, earning a swipe of his mitten. 

“I just wanna know what’s got my buddy so riled up, is that so wrong?” Sonic cocked a brow and grinned. “Let me guess. It’s the lady friend, am I right?” He watched as the red came pooling back into the other’s cheeks. “Bingo.” 

“That’s it, I’ve had enough of you butting in! So what if it’s about her! I’ll gladly dish out the details for a couple shots at your face.” Knuckles cracked his own knuckles in an attempt to threaten Sonic, which would have been comical if the hero wasn’t growing slightly annoyed. 

He sucked the back of his teeth, debating on where he wanted to take the conversation. He decided against his spiteful judgement last second and only gave Knuckles the liberty of seeing the quarter left of his faltering smile. A white flag, if you will. 

He heard Knuckles huff as if he had won. He restrained himself from saying anything more, and allowed his friend to take the upperhand. Just for a bit. 

While Tails had various workshops all over the world, this one in particular was surprisingly close to civilization, unlike his others. Sonic didn’t exactly fancy the idea of making a grand appearance in the city, but he figured he’d keep Knuckles company for a little while longer. There was little talking as they made their way through the neighboring city, aside from either of the two finally landing a proper joke that made both of them smile. But that would only last a minute or two before the tension rose back to the surface. It was a tiring cycle.

As they reached the heart of the city, countless people would stop to gawk at their fellow heroes. Many made an attempt to hound Sonic for an autograph, or even a photo or two. He wasn’t going to indulge them any time soon, and he could tell the growing chatter was raising Knuckles’ ire even higher. 

While he smiled and waved to the fellow fans and people he swore to love and protect, for a brief moment, as he stared into the lenses of the various cameras focused on him- just for a moment, he considered just blurting out the truth. Just throwing it all in the air. “Hey world, Sonic the Hedgehog is gay” was all he had to say, and this weight would finally be lifted. It wasn’t as if Knuckles could get much angrier, anyway- if he’d even get angry. But something tight and itchy clenched around the inside of his throat, and he knew now wasn’t the right time.

Cars passed them with small honks and drivers hollering occasionally. This one car in particular rolled up next to them, all sleek, black and finely polished. The windows were so dark it’d be impossible to identify the driver. It wasn’t just the average civilian, as Sonic recognised the G.U.N logo the car lights reflected upon the ground. They tried to ignore it but it just kept at their side. 

For once, Sonic really didn’t feel like hearing the latest world wide catastrophe coming from G.U.N themselves, especially with his now ever growing headache coming to his attention. He looked the other way as he was just about ready to ditch the scene, when he heard the car’s window slide down and someone clear their throat.

“Oh, _great,_ it’s _you…_ ” His ear twitched at the tone of Knuckles’ whine. He looked over, half expecting to see the bright flash of a camera, or the eccentrically grabbing arms of some fan. It was actually a relief to see a familiar hedgehog peak out of the retreating window.

“Shadow.” Both Sonic and Knuckles stated as said hedgehog propped an arm over the door ledge. 

See, Shadow was interesting. Sonic never really thought about him if he wasn’t around. Hell, sometimes he forgot the other hedgehog existed. But when he did see him again, he felt a surge of awe bubble within him, wiping his mind clear of anything he was thinking about. All their memories and experiences would rush back to him in an instance, and it took his breath away every time. Sonic could only compare it to the feeling of finding a lost item when he was never looking for it in the first place.

It was interesting- and also something he hated to think about. Following that train of thought would lead him to a rabbit hole of emotions that he couldn’t possibly process right now. He can barely handle his own homosexuality, let alone personal attachment.

So, Sonic could only manage a sorry excuse for a grin, waving at his long time rival. Shadow said nothing in return but nudged the edge of his lip in some sort of acknowledgement, one that the other would gladly take over anything else.

“Rouge asked me to relay a message.” Shadow answered before either of the two could ask him. He focused his eyes on the echidna. “For you.”

“Well, isn’t she nice.” Knuckles grumbled and rolled his eyes. He spitefully walked ahead, leaving the other two behind him. “I didn’t take you as a messenger boy, _Shadow._ ” He jumped when the car abruptly accelerated back to his side with a screeching halt.

“Don’t push me, echidna.” Shadow warned, pulling up closer to the curb. The two held there stance in some sort of silent feud.

Sonic felt a mixture of a chuckle and a groan crawl up his throat as he watched. Typical that these two wouldn’t get along. But before he could watch Knuckles grab the door, or see Shadow get out the car, he stepped in between them.

“Woah there! Such animosity! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two are a litte,” He stopped and pondered over his words. A few moments passed and he gave a measly wave of his hand. “Irritated, I guess.” He finally finished, unable to come up with something clever or funny. He turned his back to the car and focused on Knuckles.

“But then again, when are you _not_ blowing your top off, Knuckles.” His friend redirected his anger to him now. Sonic rolled his eyes and shrugged, feeling obligated to respond to his silent complaints. “Jokes, buddy. They’re jokes.”

“Not in the mood, Sonic.” Knuckles pursued forward, stepping a little too close into the other’s space. Sonic didn’t budge his feet, but he leaned back slightly as the aggravated echidna spit out a nasty, “ _Watch it.”_

“Easy, easy! Calm down, _buddy.”_ Sonic stressed the last word as he clamped a firm grip on Knuckles’ shoulder, pushing him back roughly. “Maybe you should go blow off some steam somewhere else before you cause some damage.” Knuckles shoved his hand off and made his way to leave.

“Fine by me! You’re being especially irritating today! And as for _you,”_ He glared back at Shadow, who had only just then looked up from his fingers. “Tell that bat I don’t want any message. In fact, I want nothing to do with her!” Even if Shadow had something to say to that, Knuckles hadn’t given him the chance before he stomped off in a huff. As his figure retreated, a snort was heard between the two of them.

“What a drama queen.” Sonic said spitefully, turning back to the car. Shadow only looked through his rearview mirror, watching the oncoming cars pass him. He was pulled from the road when Sonic leaned in on the door to look inside.

“Coming through in this nice sleek for little old Knuckles? Can’t say I’m not jealous.”

Shadow sneered. “Don’t even try me. I’d rather waste gas on the doctor.” 

“I don’t know about that.” Sonic started. “But I do know that this baby is _nice_.” He ran his fingers over the door leather with a slow whistle. He scoffed when his hand was quickly smacked off the interior.

“Watch the prints.” Shadow hissed. “And it’s from G.U.N. Got it rented.” A smirk worked its way onto his face. “And I’ve driven better. _Much_ better.”

“Oh, _shut up._ ” Sonic grinned and rolled his eyes before they landed on the empty passenger seat. “Don’t suppose you mind taking me for a spin?”

Shadow narrowed his eyes. “Who’s to say I’m not in a hurry? 

Sonic folded his arms and leaned his cheek on his forearm. “I’m not seeing any form of urgency here. But if you really need to go, I can be out of your hair in an instant.” They maintained eye contact until Shadow promptly broke it to look back to the road ahead. He waited a moment before nodding his head to the passenger seat. Sonic wasted no time hopping to the other side. It had been so long since he’d been in the inside of a car. The new car smell filled him like an antidote.

“First smile of the hour, I presume.” Shadow simply said, rolling his windows up. Sonic lightly touched his cheeks, and yeah, he was smiling.

“Haha. Probably the first of the day.” He thought for a second. “Or maybe the week. Haha. Who’s keeping count?” The forced laughs weren’t helping the situation, but he was glad when Shadow chose not to comment on it. He simply started up the car and stepped on the gas.

The thing about running is the wind through the quills, the faint burning sensation in the legs, and the beauty of land flying by at the speed of sound. Colors swipe by in an array of clusters. When he’d pass fields he’d see the blurs of ivory and butterscotch. Passing the tropics would be met with eggshell and oak and gold. He’d come to adore these colors the most.

But all the running in the world couldn’t grant him the gentle purr of a car engine. Driving is a luxury he could only enjoy in small bursts. Running was quicker, he had more freedom to do what he will, and it was safer. Realistically, there was no point in taking any vehicle. 

But, really, there was nothing like the gentle rumble of the wheel against his fingers.

This car, however, was as quiet as Shadow himself. Sonic could hardly hear the hum of the engine that he loved so much. The steady silence drove him crazy. Sonic moved his hand to turn on the radio, but found there was nothing there aside from other little mechanics. 

“I specifically request vehicles without the radio.” Shadow clarified, and he didn’t need to look over to see the bewildered expression on the other’s face. “I just prefer the silence. You can leave anytime you want to.”

Sonic scoffed and fell back to his seat, putting on his seatbelt. “Weirdo. But it’s whatevs. It’s your car, after all.” That being said, he’d rather something to fill the block of silence that had now fallen over them. When Sonic found himself in a car, the first thing he’d do was lower all windows and crank the music up to the heavens, drowning out everything around him. Now that he had none of these things, he felt compelled to speak. 

And exactly what is there to talk about? With Shadow? Absolutely nothing. 

Sonic rested his head back against the seat. He lazily glanced over at Shadow, who had one hand firm on the wheel and his eyes wavering between the passing cars and the road. He noticed how the flickering cars reflected off those eyes, rudely taking away the vibrance of their color. 

In a spark of panic, Sonic turned his attention to his side window. He thought about what to talk about, but nothing came to mind. He thought about just asking about his day, but that wouldn’t lead to anything more than a one word answer. He thought about catching up on his latest whereabouts, but he knew he probably wouldn’t get a truthful answer.

“Where are we going?” Sonic finally found it in himself to ask. 

“Anywhere.”

“But where?”

“Somewhere.”

Sonic gave a sigh of defeat and rested his head against the window. He found the rhythmic bumping distracting enough, but it only worsened his headache. 

“I have no desire to head back to the base.” Shadow then started, just as Sonic found the brightness of the gray sky to become too unbearable. “I need some time away from…” Shadow paused to find the right words. “... _this.”_

Sonic understood exactly where he was coming from, and he couldn’t hold back a smile. Finally, someone understood. “Everyone is so different now.” Sonic said as he draped his arm over his eyes. “Really different. You’d think since Eggman’s been keeping quiet, we’d all be happy. But no, everyone is so agitated.”

“If I’m correct, you all have spent your whole lives fending off the doctor’s schemes. Perhaps his absence is causing paranoia.” 

“Can’t say I blame them, but _sheesh._ ” Sonic shook his head. “And G.U.N…?”

Shadow visibly grimaced at this, so they both silently agreed to end that part of the conversation. A little more abrupt than Sonic hoped, but he knew not to cross that line with Shadow.

Silence overtook the two of them again. At this point, Sonic’s head was throbbing. The next 10 minutes felt shorter than he’d hope. Despite his head pain, he revelled in the passing scenery of the city. The colorful cars fading by and the countless bodies of people minding their own business. No pestering, no shouting. A silent space of comfort and anonymity.

So maybe Shadow had a point. This did feel pretty good.

He felt his gaze travel to the other again, watching him focus on the road ahead. He noticed the little things he did as he drove. The way his nose twitched at the more reckless drivers around him. The way his fingers flexed if they would remain stopped for a long period of time. He even noticed the instances where he’d take his eyes off the road to glance at the polished dashboard of the car, giving an ever so slight, prideful smirk.

He was then caught by the quick jerk of Shadow’s eyes locking onto him as Sonic averted his attention back to the windshield. He was glad when he heard a small grunt and nothing more.

They started to drive past the big city and enter the sunny countryside, where the buildings became more and more scarce and the people were either hard at work on their property, or not there at all. The clean smooth asfalt turned into a dusty dirt road as they blazed through the orange land. It was nice. 

He heard Shadow take a quick breath as if he was going to speak, but he only exhaled. Sonic still looked over curiously, wondering if he was going to spark a conversation. Anything to pass the time. Shadow did it again, this time tapping his finger against the wheel.

Finally, he spoke, “I think… I need to get back to the base.” His voice was surprisingly hesitant, as if he was asking Sonic for his approval. To this, Sonic didn’t know what to say. If Shadow wanted him to leave, he never had any issue telling him off before.

“Do you want to? I _can_ go, but…” Sonic trailed off. The rest of that sentence wouldn’t end well. He definitely _could_ leave the car, but then he’d have to return to the reality of his situation. 

His friends needed him, now more than ever. And he was more than willing to give them his help. He would go back to Tails and talk him through his frustrations, he would confront Knuckles-- and he’d probably have to apologize for provoking him as he did-- and he’d check up on Amy to see if she was okay. He’d do all of these things… 

But did it have to be right now? Anything but right now. Let it be the next morning, or even the next hour, he didn’t care. He truly just wanted to be with Shadow for just a _little_ while longer-

Sonic’s train of thought stopped at that exact point, irritably pinching his nose as his mind finally opened _that_ can of worms.

Shadow didn’t seem to notice his epiphany, lost in his own train of thought. He continued, more to himself than anyone else, “It’s not about what I want. If I am at any point requested, I need to be alert and ready at any moment. I need to be… _present._ ” He slowed down the car as he reached the side of the dirt road. The two of them stared forward at the long winding path. 

“Lets just say, lately I haven’t been very present. I’ve been told I’m like a walking corpse at times. My fellow agents have compared me to a robot many times… an android, if you will.” Shadow stopped to wince at his own choice of words. “I suppose what I’m asking is, all things considered, is my presence really needed?”

“Of course you’re needed.” Sonic didn’t hesitate to say. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying something too risky and personal. “G.U.N needs you. The world needs you.”

“I see.” Shadow’s voice was hoarse, and Sonic turned to look at him for the first time in 15 minutes. He seemed tired. He looked especially drained, as if the car was running on him instead of gas.

“Then you should-”

“But you-”

They both stopped and looked at each other. Shadow put the car in park.

“You should leave.” Shadow said quickly, as though he’d never get the chance again. Sonic breathed in deeply and unhooked his seatbelt.

“Right…” Sonic placed his hand on the door handle and froze, finding it impossible to move. He stared at the dashboard, concentrating on something he couldn’t quite get a hold of. Finally, he looked up at Shadow, who had a look of uneasiness in his eyes.

“I was just gonna say-” Sonic blurted out too quickly, and he stopped himself before he said something really, _really_ stupid. “-even if everyone needs you, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look out for number one, you know!” He fired a finger gun his way and a quick wink before quickly slipping out the side of the car.

Shadow stared at his retreating figure for a few moments before snorting. Relief was eminent on his face. “I didn’t ask for advice, hedgehog. Find someone else to ramble to-- that echidna, perhaps.” He rolled down his window again as Sonic was at his door in the blink of an eye.

“That’s probably what I’ll have to do.” 

“Enjoy your charity work. Because the next time we meet, it might not be on such neutral terms.”

Sonic laughed loudly, echoing faintly around them. He rested his elbows against the car door, which he was surprised Shadow allowed.

“How unkind of you to assume you won’t take me for another ride around the city.”

Shadow smirked. “Oh? You’re mistaken if you think this will become a regular occurrence. Already have your calendar marked?”

“Nah, but you did say, and I quote, ‘ _I’ve driven better’._ You can’t keep me in the dark like that!” 

Shadow chuckled as he shook his head. “Let’s see what happens later on then. I can’t make any promises…” Sonic pushed himself upright and grinned.

“Well, until I see something better, I’m going to presume that all the things you said before was just you talking out of your ass.”

“Fuck off.” Shadow roughly shoved his elbows off the door and sneered. They both heard the light whistle of wind pass them by. 

Shadow’s eyes drifted back to the dashboard. “Actually, now that you mention it… there is something.” He stopped and pierced his lips in thought. He then said, “I’ve been neglecting my vacations and I’ve been pestered to take one. I’m being sent off to a retreat tomorrow. I doubt G.U.N would mind if I bring a plus one.” 

Sonic raised a brow. “An invite? Maybe I should be more careful, you don’t seem like the Shadow I know at all.”

“I doubt you could name more than three things about me, let alone claim you know me.”

“I don’t need to know much aside from that you’re a good guy.” Sonic noted, leaning back onto the door with his head on his forearm. “But I suppose you’ve got a point. Where’s this little vacay at so I can meet ya.”

“I’m not allowed to give up the location, considering it’s private and I'll be staying there. G.U.N is taking me via helicopter at 7:00 AM sharp tomorrow, near where I’m stationed. If you wish to come you better be there so I can explain your presence.”

“Ooh, look who’s all important and ‘top secret’ now? Haha, well as you know I’d rather roll on foot, but maybe I’ll make an exception for this go around. We’ll see.”

Shadow scoffed at how conceited that sounded and shook his head. As the driver side window slid up to cover Shadow’s face in a gloss of tint, Sonic beamed down at him with a playful wave of his hand. He couldn’t really see well, but he could vaguely make out a subtle hand motion from the wheel. 

He watched as the car then sped off, noticeably revving the engine before leaving a cloud of dust in his company. All he could do was watch as the car left his sights, well aware that he wasn’t heading anywhere near the G.U.N base anytime soon. He took a deep breath of the dusty gasoline-tinted air and sped off on his own run. 

He’d be at that base at 5:00 AM if he had to.

* * *

Sonic ended up coming home some time later that night. He originally wasn’t planning on staying at his home. Usually, he’d find himself on some sort of run and he’d crash on top of roofs, hills, trees- sometimes in caves, if he had to. If he found a friend of his, he’d sleep over at their place. He just always found the idea of a permanent home jarring. He himself had many homes. He couldn’t afford to remain in one place at all times. That’s just how his life was, always on the move. 

There was something special about his small house, he would admit. He was close to a beach, and isolated from the big cities. It was quiet and all his. If he wanted to blast music at absurd hours, he sure would. If he wanted to sleep all day and run all night, he would. And he could be whatever and whoever whenever he wanted.

It was mostly empty and private, so he kept it for the quiet times.

Key word- mostly.

Upon stepping through his door, he saw Tails sitting in his main room, curled up on the couch asleep. Which was fine. It made Sonic happy to see him at his home. Tails was growing up and becoming more and more busy, so he saw him less and less on his adventures. But as he made his way around the couch he was laying on, he saw that Tails wasn’t actually asleep, but fiddling with a pair of pliers as he laid his head on the pillow. He was staring forward at the table in front of him, watching the fan’s reflection on the glass.

“Uhhh… buddy? Tails?” Sonic raised a brow. “What are you doing?” His voice shocked his brother and he watched as Tails snapped his head up at him.

“Sonic! When did you get home?”

“Just now. But that didn’t answer my question.” Sonic sat down next to him, making note of how dark his eyes looked. Tails crossed his arms and shrugged, leaning on the opposite end of the couch.

“I don’t know. I had a mental block of some kind. I can’t get anything I make to work now.”

Sonic smiled and shook his head. “It’s been a rough couple of days. Maybe you just need to take a small break. You don’t have to build things everyday, you know.”

Tails sighed and slumped in his seat. “Yeah, I guess.” His face brightened immediately. “But that’s why I came over!”

“To take a break? That’s fine, I have a whole bucket list for us to do together in the meantim-”

“No, not that Sonic!” Tails jumped up in his own excitement. “The reason I’m have this block is because of you!” Sonic’s smiled quickly fell.

“What are you-?”

“Ever since that dinner night you invited us to, I’ve been so wrapped up in whatever was really bugging you, I haven’t been able to focus on my work!” Tails sat back down, grinning. “But if you tell me what you were really going to say, I’m sure I’ll get my mojo back. I’m sure of it!”

Sonic stared at Tails for a few moments before chuckling, shaking his head. “This again. What has it been, four days? I told you guys to let this go already.”

“And I’m saying that I can’t let it go because it’s affecting my work!”

“Tails, buddy, I’m not saying you’re wrong, but don’t you think this is getting a little out of hand?” Sonic propped his feet up on the couch and turned his body towards Tails. “You’ve been fighting with Knuckles for days now, and you’ve spent all your time cooped up in your labs. You’re just a little irritated is all.” Tails turned to face the ground, well in his own thoughts.

After a moment, Sonic added, “You know, when I get upset, I like to take a nice run around the world. It clears my head.”

Tails furrowed his brow. “Oh, I’m sure that works wonders for _you._ But unlike you, I can’t just drop everything I’m doing in order to ‘clear my head’, that’s not how this works.” 

“Definitely not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Hey, hey, settle down!” Sonic threw up his hands in mock defense. “No need to get worked up. All I was saying is that you need to let off some steam.” 

Tails snapped his head towards him and said, “Sonic, I just want to know what was really bugging you the other night. It’s obvious that it wasn’t about some vacation, and I can’t stand you keeping secrets from me. I thought we were closer than that, but I guess we’re not.” Silence fell over them again. Sonic stared back at Tails with an unreadable expression, fists clenched at his brother’s stubbornness.

He spoke slowly, “I appreciate the worry, but I think- and here’s a thought- that I’m entitled to some privacy. In all other cases, I’m an open book, and you know that. This is just an exception. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for someone as smart as you to get the hint.” It came out more bitter than Sonic intended, and it was made apparent by the flash of pain that crossed Tails’ expression. Seeing a number of outcomes arise from his words, Sonic opened his mouth to quickly apologize. He didn’t get to say it in time.

“No, I get it. I get it now. Thanks.” Tails stood up, running a hand through his bangs. “You’re right. You deserve your own privacy. I’ll give you that.” The boy simply turned and made his way towards the door. Sonic made no move to stop him. “I just can’t see the point in hiding something you clearly wanted to tell us that night. Could it really have been that horrible?”

_‘No. It wasn’t horrible. But it was personal.’_ Sonic thought to himself, taking a deep breath. Tails opened the door slowly. It was quite dark outside, but he would make it back home safely.

“I am actually going on vacation.” Sonic spoke, just as he was about to close the door. “I’ll be gone for however long. But if you need anything, know I’ll be there.” The door remained still for another moment before closing abruptly, leaving Sonic alone in his still home.

* * *

It was around 2:40 pm the next day when Sonic hopped out of the helicopter onto the road beneath them. He took a deep breath and gave a hesitant smile. This ‘vacation’ was way farther and way more remote than he’d expected. He was almost certain that his feet had marked every spot of the earth, but he had no memory of this little town. It was very quiet, lightly dotted with wandering people living their peaceful lives by their lonesome. It definitely looked remodeled, judging by the freshly coated houses and pavements. 

Sonic stood a few miles before the winding road that traveled on and up the mountain. He couldn’t quite see the top of it because of the whiteness it faded into. His temporary home was up there now, at least for the next week. A whole week

He felt his backside bumped, prompting him to jerk forward and look away from the scene. Shadow was right behind him.

He flashed a quick smile his way. “Thanks for the ride. And for the record, thanks for bailing on the whole _cruise_ idea. Not my cup of tea.” Sonic made a move to grab one of his bags, but stopped as one of the escorts transported the luggage to a separate vehicle.

“I didn’t want a cruise anyway.” Shadow gave a small wave to the pilot and watched him take off, leaving them both behind. Once the wind settled down and the pilot was well out of sight, Sonic spun on his heel and took off in a light jog towards the base of the mountain. It took a moment, but sure enough he began to hear familiar footsteps at his side.

He didn’t look when he heard Shadow’s voice at his side, “You realize we are meant to be escorted, right? And don’t think too hard about this. The only reason you’re here is because Rouge pressured me into taking a partner.”

“Who needs an escort when the mountain is clearly right there? And since when do you need a partner to go on a paid vacation?”

“She said I spent far too long in solitude. I’m simply heeding her advice.”

“Okay, but since when do you give in to pressure? Or take advice for that matter?”

“Since when do you ask so many questions? If you wish to leave, by all means, go ahead.” Shadow noticed Sonic picking up the pace.

“Nope!” 

Shadow matched his speed easily, naturally shifting from running to skating. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were challenging me, hedgehog.”

“Oh? What gave you that idea?” Sonic took a quick step and bumped against Shadow’s leg, causing him to stumble. Before he could see his response, he had already charged on forward full sprint. He found himself at the base of the mountain road when he heard the sound of jets at his side.

As he pivoted to turn against the path’s direction, he felt his leg get caught and his body went tumbling off to the side. Shadow’s figure briefly entered his view as he managed to save himself on the mountain’s rocky wall. As he stared ahead at the fleeting hedgehog, he could’ve sworn he saw a smirk on his face. And at that point, it was on. 

He used his hands to grab any hold the mountain side had and used his legs to propel himself back onto the road. He saw Shadow a few ledges above him, circling his way to the top of the mountain at his own speed. 

“You little cheat.” Sonic said under his breath before an idea popped into his head. “Two can play that game!” Instead of taking the longer, winding path, he made a powerful dash up the wall of the mountain, passing each ledge and road within seconds. He couldn’t help but grin as the white fog started to disappear and the small house made itself visible at the top of the mountain. At the final ledge, he kicked himself up and landed himself in front of the wooden home. 

Standing up straight and looking ahead, he made his way through the doors in stride. He heard no jets for miles, and there was hardly a chance Shadow could’ve made it there going the way he did.

“You probably thought something along those lines.” Shadow’s voice caught Sonic off guard and alerted him to his presence in one of the side rooms. “You were probably thinking that there was no possible way I could’ve made it here before you did, thus making you the victor in this case. Well, I wasn’t the one to start cheating, so I see no reason to play fair.” He said all this as he tossed a chaos emerald carelessly into the air, catching it perfectly every time. 

Sonic sneered and turned his back, “Cheat? Me? No way.” He was lightly bumped out of the way as Shadow made his way to properly look over the new home. It wasn’t that small, considering it was meant for one person. It was spotted with wood and brick all throughout. A small kitchen was set, which didn’t matter considering Shadow didn’t have to eat nearly as much as the average hedgehog.

The two walked passed the living room and into a small hallway connected to a singular room. Entering they saw a very clean, wooden room with a desk and a nice furry floor rug- Sonic really hoped that it was faux fur. Right in the corner just shy of the window was one normal sized bed with a fluffy comforter and puffy pillows.

“Huh.”

“Hmm.”

It seemed like the perfect room for a week’s worth of vacation. Although one issue came to their minds.

“One bed.” Sonic stated, glancing over to the other.

“I see.” Shadow said in response. “I suppose it makes sense. After all, I am the only one assigned to live here.”

“Yup.” Sonic and him stood there in silence for the next few moments. He then clapped his hands together. “Right! I’ll just sleep on the sofa. Don’t worry about it!”

“You don’t have to. I can sleep there.” Shadow offered. It’s not as if he really needed to sleep anyway. Sonic on the other hand…

“I mean it’s your vacation, dude. I’m just hitching along for the ride.” He turned and headed towards the living room, waving his hand. “Keep the bed to yourself. I’ll be fine!” He threw himself on the sofa and stretched, figuring he might as well work in a quick nap while they waited for their luggage. He heard footsteps enter the room a few minutes later and he cracked an eye to see. Shadow seemed to be looking over the tv and the walls, presumably checking to make sure everything was stable. 

Sonic couldn’t be bothered. He doubt he’d stay cooped up in this house, so he could hardly care of its condition. Snug in the corner was a large grandfather clock that reminded him of the clock he had back home, loudly ticking in tune with the passing second. Watching Shadow mess with the walls and listening to the rhythmic ticks brought him to a dizzy sleep, and soon, his eyes fell closed.

* * *

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

_“I have an announcement to make.” Sonic stated as he stood proudly at his table. He saw his friends’ gaze following his every move. Amy smiled and clapped her hands together._

_“Whatever it is, we’re happy to hear!” She said merrily, and continued eating her freshly made plate of pasta. Tails nodded as well, smiling ear to ear. A grin came to Sonic’s face. Everything was perfect._

_“It’s not much, but I think I’m obligated to tell you guys…” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and silencing his nerves. ‘You will be okay,’ he told himself, fingers tightening around the edge of the table for support. Finally, he said it, “I’m gay.”_

_He opened his eyes and saw hope in the instance of stillness that came over the table. Knuckles’ eyes kept on him, as if there was more to be said. Sonic’s smile widened, believing that this really wasn’t that big of a deal and that he was just blowing everything out of proportion. It was almost comical how difficult it was to work up the courage, yet how short it was to say._

_His smile fell, though, at the clink of a fork hitting a plate. He turned his head and saw Tails eyeing him with a wary expression, fork fallen from his hands and partially over his food._

_“W-what…?” Tails choked out. He then managed a small smile. “You’re joking right?” Sonic felt his heart drop at the tone of his voice and his mouth went dry._

_“No…” Was all he managed to say. His hands had started to turn cold._

_Tails’ smile twitched. “O-oh, well… I see.” Everything about how this was playing out was dangerous. His tone was uneven and the disappointment was heavy behind his words. His own brother seemed genuinely troubled. “I don’t know, I just wasn’t expecting that. You’ve dated girls and seemed happy so…”_

_Sonic found it a little hard to breath with how hard his heart started to pound. “I, um… I just…”_

_“I think it’s pretty gross, if you ask me.” Knuckles chimed in, turning both of their attentions to him. The eyes that, only a few minutes ago, were locked in an unwavering stare, were now focused on the table below. It was impossible to read his expression, but he certainly wasn’t smiling. “But it’s not any of my business, so I don’t think I should care.”_

_‘But you do care,’ Sonic wanted to say. ‘you care so much that you think it’s gross, you think I’m gross. Why would you say that if you didn’t care?‘_

_The last thing he wanted to see, however, was the look that Amy gave him. He had nearly forgotten that she was there. But at the screech of her chair, she stood to be eye level with him across the table. He saw her eyes, and the pain that poured from them. Betrayal was written all over her expression, from her flattened ears to her shaking lips. Tears weren’t present, but he knew they were coming._

_He lost all his words at the sight of her so visibly shaken. His whole body had run cold. He wanted to take off out of the room, but his legs felt so heavy. Three pairs of eyes focused on him now, and he felt as if G.U.N themselves shined a spotlight on him. There was no where he could go, and there was nothing he could say that could retract his statement. All he could do was watch as Amy stood there, eyes never breaking contact from his. His heart rang so loud in his ears he felt as though he’d faint at any moment. And then, everything went black._

* * *

Sonic woke up with a small, sharp shake of his head. His eyes shot open and blinked awake as they adjusted to the small bright lamp on one of the corner tables. He lifted himself up and winced in sudden pain from his arm. Seems to have been slept on wrong; he’d get over it. 

It was mostly dark within the house, aside from the lamp at his side. He noticed that by his feet was his small luggage. With this, he looked up to the window and saw that it was pitch black outside. He didn’t realize how long his little nap was.

He figured that it would do no good for him to go back to sleep, and he couldn’t stomach the idea of food, so he decided to wander the front porch of the house. It was made of a sturdy, warm toned wood that ran around the perimeter of the house. It overlooked the mountain side and grassy hills they were placed on. At night, all he could see were small distant buildings and beautiful land for miles. It was much different from the city, which was usually lit up with thousands of lights throughout the night, bustling with loud people and cars. His life had been filled with so many led lights and casinos, he’d always come to appreciate the quieter life.

“I suppose you enjoyed your nap, you slept long enough for it.” Shadow’s voice startled him from the side. He joined him by the porch rail.

“It _was_ good, thank you very much.” Sonic lied, stretching his hurt arm over his head. “And if I slept so long, why didn’t you wake me up?”

Shadow rolled his eyes. “I’m not your baby-sitter.” He looked up to the sky and rested his chin on his palm. “It’ll be morning in a few hours, so I’ve been taking in the night’s view.”

Sonic shrugged, “It’s a pretty sight. But I’ve seen many pretty sights, so…”

“I just can’t see the point in me being here.” Shadow started again, closing his eyes in irritation, “I’m not like other living things. I don’t need these breaks. I could spend this time doing anything productive, but instead I’m here wasting time.” Sonic only hummed in response, still not fully awake. “G.U.N workers are stressed and overworked to all hell, and yet I’m the one who gets the vacation. Why wouldn’t they give it to someone else, is my question?”

“Don’t know, but I don’t think you should really worry about it.” Sonic added as he rubbed the sore area on his arm. He gave a half smile. “Maybe you should be happy that they are treating you like a regular agent and not some weird robot.”

“I’m not a robot, but I’m not normal either.”

“You’re Shadow.” Sonic let that statement hang in the air for a few silent moments before he quickly changed the subject, “No moon out tonight.”

Shadow opened his eyes and tilted his head up to the sky. “That is true.”

“I don’t really get to see nights like this. Y’know, with a new moon and all. I guess I always miss it- that or I don’t pay attention, either way.” Sonic leaned in over the railing to get a better view of the sky.

“We tend to get so caught up in our own issues. It becomes difficult to notice the little things like this.” Shadow crossed his arms and took a deep breath. “Maybe I did need this, after all.”

“That’s good! I’m glad your accepting it.” Sonic smiled at Shadow as he came back from the railing. Shadow stared back with a blank expression. He wasn’t always the most perceptive, but he wasn’t stupid, either. He noticed the way Sonic trudged out the door and how he held his stiff arm carefully. He could see the darker outlines under his puffy eyes. He knew very well that he hadn’t slept well- and he probably wasn’t feeling very well either. 

Shadow was familiar with nightmares and restless sleep. It’s one of the reasons he chose to only sleep when necessary, if anything for his own sanity. He didn’t like to think about the contents of his dreams, and he certainly didn’t like when others tried to read him like some sort of book. Nothing about his life was anyone else’s business to analyse. It only made him feel less like his own being and more like some science experiment. 

So, he knew a thing or two about ‘not wanting to talk about it’, and he felt it in himself to give Sonic that right.

“Check it. The sky’s turning purple.” Sonic broke him out of his own thoughts and to the scenery. The morning sky was a warm sangria, with the sun just peeking through a thin line of white. Shadow bit his lip in an attempt to keep his mind from wandering to a somber memory. 

“So, uh,” Sonic started, stepping away from the railing. Shadow didn’t look, but he knew he was still listening. “I’m gonna go take a run. Guess I’ll be back later.” He still didn’t look over, so Sonic took it as an acceptance and jumped to the grass below.

“I know I don’t need to say this, but you shouldn’t skip your meals, hedgehog.” Shadow found it in himself to say, more quietly than he intended. He didn’t see the other respond before taking off in a run, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he never came back.

* * *

Sonic returned sometime later that night, ate whatever food and went to bed. Shadow noticed but either didn’t care or didn’t see the point in stopping him- he couldn’t tell which. He spent most of his day on the porch, just watching the time creep by. He felt the chilly breeze greet him with every hour, and it was something he lived for. Feeling the icy cold air fill him and breathe life back into every fiber of his being, reminding him that yes, he _is_ actually alive, felt so amazing.

And he watched the earth as he did so. He couldn’t see the people down there, but he knew they were safe. All dealt with their own trials and demons, some kind and some horrible. He really used to hate these animals- he found them troublesome and selfish. But now, he had a clear head, and he was in a better place. He felt neither love nor hate for these creatures. They just… were. They inhabited a planet too good for their own good, and everyday they only sought to worsen it. 

But every now and again, he’d come across an innocent soul, and that was all it took for him to watch this planet with his life. It wasn’t what he was _meant_ to do but it was what felt right, and he knew it in his heart.

It just felt really good to stand strong for once in his life, instead of engaging in some uphill battle.

It was like this for a few nights. He’d stand out there for hours, then he’d pace back and forth as his mind became wrapped around something, then he’d go back to his railing and watch the world again. It would become dark and he’d stare up at the moon, enamored with its beauty as each night it slowly showed another piece of itself. 

He hadn’t realized it until the sun had set one day, but he was reaching the end of his vacation. This marked the 6th day, which meant the coming morning would be spent packing up and taking the helicopter back home. He really hadn’t done anything. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat- hell, he didn’t even see Sonic that much, apart from the same song and dance of ‘hey Shadow, I’m out for another run’.

But before he knew it, it had become night again. This time he retreated to the comfort of his new home. It was significantly warmer, and the sudden shift hit him with a wave of fatigue. He usually didn’t feel this tired, but every step felt like he was being dragged to the floor. He slouched himself over the kitchen counter unusually gauche.

“There you are!” 

He hated to admit that Sonic’s voice startled him to no end. He looked over his shoulder and shot a dirty look towards the couch. 

“Well geez, no need to look like that. I was just saying hi.” Sonic beamed a large smile, but even from the kitchen Shadow could tell that he looked more drained than before. He didn’t bother to say anything about it.

“Interesting to see you here after all this time.” 

“Eh, I’ve been out and about. Conversing with the locals. Turns out they’re pretty stand-offish.” Sonic shrugged, chewing on what looked like a cracker. “At least I haven’t been a statue this whole time.” Shadow only scoffed, turning his attention to the blank screen of the distant tv. He never did enjoy those kinds of things. The lights were bright and the shows didn’t entertain him that well. 

He heard the sound of glass clinking with marble and he shot a glance over to the couch. The other had two small glasses of ice on the table in front of him. “So,” Sonic started as he carelessly popped a piece of cheese in his mouth. “You drink?”

“I can consume beverages, if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh, haha. Smartass. Guess I’ll just,” Sonic paused to reach below the table. He pulled out a nice shiny bottle of Scotch. He noticed the way Shadow’s eyes instantly lit up, following the bottle’s movement like a puppy. “... have this all to myself then.”

Shadow was quickly at his side on the sofa, giving his own glass a little shake of ice. Sonic raised a brow.

“So maybe I have my special occasions.” Shadow said, giving up. Sonic gave a loud laugh to himself as he poured the other’s glass. 

“ _This_ is a special occasion? I’m flattered!” Sonic ignored the growing heat of his cheeks, pulling over his own glass of ice. He certainly wanted more, in fact he really wanted to just take the bottle back. But he restrained himself.

Shadow rolled his eyes before swirling his ice around as he pondered on something. Sonic only sipped the drink, squinting at the burning sensation. He was tempted to cough it up. The large clock in the room caught his attention again, and he’d break it if he had to endure another night of ticks.

“You get drunk?”

Sonic frowned at the question. “I have before, in my wilder days. Kinda don’t anymore. This has been my first drink in years.” Saying that out loud hit him harder than it should.

“Any reason why?”

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Sonic shook his head from the sound. “I just,” He lowered his glass and looked towards the window.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“I guess I’m just so used to being on the alert, you know? No telling when that Egghead will show up, or when someone needs me.”

“You can’t be there for everyone.” Time felt like it stopped when Shadow spoke. Sonic went frigid, breath caught in the back of his throat. “Living on edge all the time can’t be healthy.”

Sonic sighed and rubbed the side of his head. “I know, I know. But what if-”

“It’s a vacation.” Shadow reminded him, narrowing his eyes. “The world’s not going to go up in flames in the blink of an eye.”

“That’s what happened last time, with Infinite.” Sonic shuddered. “I wasn’t prepared. I let my guard down and look what happened.”

“You weren’t drunk, though. How can you be so wary of your drunken state when you can just as easily of been taken down sober?” Shadow frowned at the way Sonic flinched at his statement. “My point is, you can’t be here and there and everywhere for everyone. Why not indulge? Just for the night.”

For a moment, Shadow thought he had overstepped his boundaries. Sonic had went silent for a bit, the ice in his drink melting, forming a thin clear layer at the top of the alcohol. Then came a slow smile.

“Who knew you had such a way with words? Most of the time it takes five people and a notice for anyone to get more than two words out of you.” Sonic sat up and swirled his drink around. He met the other’s eyes. “Okay. I’ll bite.”

Shadow smiled slightly, which was odd to see. “Good. I had nothing else to say.”

“Yeah I could tell. Anyway, cheers to boring heart to hearts. Let’s never have them again.” 

It was refreshing to talk without some form of tension. The last few weeks had been nothing but pressure weighing down on his shoulders. Never mind that he was gay, but this weird peaceful break from fighting made him feel useless. He felt as though he had to do something. He felt like he owed it to the world- to the people. 

Citizens and his friends alike, he felt like they were obligated to know what he was doing, and on the flip side, maybe he was the one pushing himself onto them? Sonic reflected on his actions, finally seeing that his attempts at being there for everyone would make them, in turn, have expectations for him. He saw that now.

He didn’t have to come out yet, or at all. He wasn’t comfortable with it. And something in his mind always knew that, but he just didn’t take the time to think about his own mental state. He never gave himself time to himself. He lived in a house alone, and yet he never thought of himself.

Shadow could nearly feel something being lifted in the air, and there was a line of comfort between the two of them. Something he wasn’t too familiar with. This vacation had turned into an escape for both of them, he realized. He didn’t know what vexed the other, but he was able to see it falter with their playful banters and spilled drinks. And truly, something within him opened up slightly more with the coming night. The boring heart to heart was over with, but being within the presence of someone so open and free as Sonic was unusually invigorating. He felt himself laugh for the first time in a long while. Perhaps the two of them unknowingly overcame some vicious battle they were too weak to win alone. Or maybe it was the alcohol talking. Who knows at this point?

Both of them gladly clinked their freshly poured glasses together and downed them in one go. The only thing that they knew was that this night was theirs.


End file.
